The 17 Guys You'll Definitely Meet When Using Dating Apps

Updated: Mar 4

Shopping online for dates can be a challenge with all kinds of complications. When the package arrives, is it what you anticipated, is it the right size, the right fit?


“One can only truly know if the ‘product’ is as advertised when he’s knocking at your front door. It’s a risk and when it’s a date, you can’t pretend the ‘item’ was never delivered."

So you open the door to the date and to the possibility of a budding relationship, who are you going to meet? In my experience they usually can be filed into these departments:


The curious case of the catfish


One of the most common issues, the most flattering photos can be outdated, enhanced or just taken at a really good angle. Seeing a person move, talk and show expression in front of you is always incomparable to photos.


The personality mismatch 


Speaking via text can be misleading, you can interpret people differently than they really are. Witty on text doesn’t always translate into real life.


The pleasant surprise 


When your date is more pleasing than expected, aesthetically, personality wise, style, character or charm, game on.


The premier cru 


Like a fine aged wine your date becomes more flavoursome as the night unfolds. His charismatic personality promotes him to grand cru.


The sugar-coated almond 


They look divine but that’s about all they have going for themselves, often lacking personality or character.


The blooming flower


These guys may seem reserved at first but once you water the flower, their personality blooms and they become more desirable by the second.


The balloon


You’re impressed and charmed before you meet, his persona is promising until you spend longer than an hour together, the balloon starts to deflate. He’s not all he made out himself to be.


The chameleon


You’ll never really know these guys, they like what you like, they will do what you want to do. They want you to pick the venue and prefer you to take control.


The master of masquerade


He poses as something he isn’t, he feels like your dream boy but before long the cracks in his mask start to show, beware, listen to your intuition.


The lust at first sight 


Oh so charming and bad never looked so good. They are fun to play with but you usually should put them back on the shelf after.


The no brainer 


He ticks all the boxes and you can’t wait for date number two, the new name for prince charming.


The love at first sight 


If you experience this one, baby you’ll know.


The clay buddha


At first meet, you think you may need a wine or two to get flirty with him. On the outside he’s like clay but underneath, if you’ll give him your time you’ll see he’s solid gold. A keeper.


The magnet 


He’s dangerous, he reels you in without a choice. He’s the guy that walks into the room and owns it. He has that secret ingredient that makes everyone want him and want to meet him.


The Russian doll 


He doesn’t give away much, he’s humble, after a few hours together you’ll start to find out about his business he sold, or that he traveled the world. When you open him, inside is another surprise. He knows what he has to offer without bragging.


The wilting rose 


From the get-go he’s attractive but as the night unfolds his appeal wilts like a rose, insecurities start to creep in, he runs out of script and you run out of things to talk about.


The adhesive


He’s a clinger, and in his mind, he’s already planning your wedding. He showers you with compliments and tries to wrap around you like a koala on a tree. Nice at first, though also known to suffocate.


Who have you dated?


As featured on Thought Catalog

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© 2020 Charlotte Ahern Ltd

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